Its a long way somewhere: The Killing Fields. A very somber day.

We ask ourselves ?
How could one man?

Another one of those hard days seeing the sites of Phnom Penh City and the remnants of war.

All four of us, Trev, Ronnie, Morgan and me hired a tuk tuk for the day to take us around, first it’s a stop off at the “Killing Fields”, never fun to visit these places, but there’s always a part of you that thinks you should out of respect for all those who lost their lives and suffered such terrible tortures.

This was a difficult site, about 45 mins ride out of the city, we were chatting all the way about all sorts of topics including the war etc. All seemed in great moods and our energy levels were up, a very different story on our way home, by the time we had finished with the Killing field site, the Prison, S-21 where the tortures took place and the museums we had no interest in going to the “kings Palace”, our 4^th site on the tour.

Morgan felt sick to his stomach from a previous stomach upset the day before, Ronnie was feeling shitty from a cold coming on and Trev and I just didn’t have the enthusiasm to see any more, talk about taking us down, thats the effect these places have on you and for all of us, for all different reasons, either way it dosnt add to the higher vibrations of life that I so believe in carrying. Again the “voice in the head” says you “should” experience these atrocities so you know, oh I know all right, but dose it help anything by going there, seeing pictures of babies being thrown in the air and shot at for target practise???? once again, I think not! Not for me anyway.

The remains of the victims housed in the
Memorial Building

As we walked up to the monument, at first I didn’t know what was going to be inside but as I got closer I could see the many skulls of the innocent victims of this war and some of their clothes layered on the many shelves of the monument. I decided I didn’t want to enter in and instead walked around the outside saying some prayers for all those who had suffered. Its a strange feeling but all the times I have visited war sites I get a very strong sense comes over me of being ashamed almost of being born “human”, a feeling of responsibility, like being ashamed of your race or family when they have behaved badly, I suppose it comes from feeling connected to the greater of all and that we are all one and are therefore all partly responsible for what happens to our fellow man and our world.

So many innocent people.

The memorial building.

I can only believe that we are all born good, then a child becomes damaged from the atrocities that are inflicted on him and grows up into a mad man who turns to the “dark side” and takes down a few other damaged souls with them and then you have what happened here, madness, extremist’s void of emotion.

Some of the pictures in the museum were absolutely disgusting, I couldn’t bare to look at them, it made me want to throw up.

S 21 was a school

School turned Prison

The former security office 21 in “Democratic Kampuchea” was created on orders of Pol Pot (Sa lut Sor). In April 17, 1975 office 21 was called S-21 and designed for the detention, interrogation, human torture, and killing after confession from the detainees. This was the Prison, I sat there thinking what was I doing in that year, I would have been 15years old probably just finishing high school in England, happy as a clam not a clue what was going on over here. What I find so hard about being out here is that when we are in the safety of our own worlds, our own countries, our own homes, we really cant begin to know the magnitude of what our fellow humans are suffering, god it is tough being part of this world and being human, knowing where you fit and what your role is.

No problem here in this place

The cells
Once classrooms

On January 7^th, 1979 the Party and the Government collected all the evidence in S-21 such as photographs, films, the prisoner confession archives, torture tools, shackles, and the last fourteen victim corpses and created the museum. Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum was opened on August 19, 1979 when Kampuchea Peoples Tribunal started the prosecution of “Democratic Kampuchea” leaders Pol Pot, Ieng Sary, Khiev Samphorn.

The former office S-21 covered the area of 600 x 400 meters, this prison, once a primary school, housed the laughter of children, now haunted by the sounds of the tortured, it’s cold concrete walls, with cells built inside of each unit that measure .8 x 2 meters to put the individual prisoners in so they couldn’t see or talk with each other, now has an eerie feeling of suffering and sadness. As I walked into it I hoped that what my dad had once told me was true, “that we have the ability to time travel to another reality” I certainly hoped that these people had that ability to take them out of such pain.